CathyB

All I have today is questions.  What is preventing me from losing weight?  Why is it that I can do good for one or 2 weeks and the minute I see the numbers drop just a little, I give up and head for the other direction.  Is it because I have little support from my family? I feel like I don’t have  a friend that would help me, if I did would that help me? Or am I saying that I don’t have support as an excuses?  What is the underlining reason why I don’t try harder?   How do I overcome this?  Is it a fear of something?  Do I have the courge and willpower to overcome this?

I know that I need to lose the weight because of health reason.  High cholestrol and broaderline diabetic. When my husband weigh 240, I thought I do not want to be that heavy.  Now I weight 243 -245.  Why did that number stick in my head to make me think that I did not want to be that heavy?  Why did I pay attention to my weight earlier?

Maybe next time, I write I will have some answers.

I’m 50 years olds and my weight is 245.  I have 3 children, 26, 23, and 16.  Tomorrow is my 30th anniversay.  I have put on 110 pounds since my wedding day.  Boy is that a lot.  That is only  around 4 pound a year gain. Pounds do add on. If I can only lose 4 pounds every month it would take me 2 year and 4 months to get back down to what I weigh on my wedding day.  Sound like I can do it.  It would be great if I can do it in half the time. 

Back in December, I went and had blood drawn.  I knew I had high cholestrol. I did have my cholestrol down by watching what I ate.  But like always, I stop caring for myself.  What the blood work show was that I was borderline diabetic.  I thought I would be suprise about this but I was not.  I have started to notice that I was sleepy after I have eaten a lot of carbs.  So now I’m starting to watch the carbs and  cholestrol in my diet.

  The kids gave me my own XBox with EA Sports.  I was exercising every day until I felt like I did not want to push myself any harder.  I was getting sore and what a cop out that is for an excuse.  I did feel better exercising.  But I have made one excuse after another.  One of the excuse, I’m use is that my foot hurt.  I have plantar fasciitis which I need a shot in the foot.  I don’t want to spend the money on it but if I don’t I will spend the money on diabetic supplies.  Guess, I should make a doctor appointment.

My goals are:

1.  to track everything I eat on WebMD. WebMD is helping me track both carbs and cholestrol intake.
2. to lose 4 pounds a month if not more.
3. to exercise 30 minutes a day.  Using Xbox, treadmill, Wii, or videos.
4. to write my on the blog everyday.
5. to take pictures of my meals and post them with this blog. 

Why am I using the word “if I can”.  I need to change those words to “I can”.

I took the advice of stay out of the kitchen to control my eating.  I has help.  I have also decided to rewatch Paul McKenna “I can make you thin”.  When I first saw the series, I was amazed by how well it work for me.  I can remember only having 2-3 bits of a strawberry shortcake and walk away.  One time it took me a week to eat a candy bar.  I would just take one bite and wrap it back up.  I did lose 15 lbs and I have only put back on 5 lbs.  There is only 4 basic rule to follow:

1. Eat when you are hungry. 

2. Eat what you want not what you think you should.

3. Eat consciously.

4. Stop when you are or think you are full.

I find these rules hard to follow.  Especially since I have been over eating for a long time.  I have to start listening and focusing on my body.  I have a tendency to not be in tune with my body.  How do you determine when you are full?  How do you eat consciously and be able to tell what spices and flavor are in the food that you eat?  I feel like my taste buds are all screw up.  Maybe they are because I shovel the food into my mouth.  Because I have been over eating for quite sometime now, I don’t know when I’m really hungry. The only rule I don’t have a problem with is “eat what you want not what you think you should”.  I never tell myself no so I eat to much. (Which is the reason why I overweight).  I know this will get easier one of these day.  I can’t give up.

You all have a goodnight and enjoy the Labor day weekend.

It  seems like today, I could not stop eating.  I was eating even thou I was not hungry.  If the idea of eating a cookies pop in my mind I would eat it.  I don’t tell myself “NO, I don’t need it.”  I don’t think I am stress.  It has been a pretty good day both at work and at home emotionally.   I just don’t know why I’m out of control today.  So I  need some ideas as to how to stop eating when you are not hungry.  Thanks for your help.

Well, I feel like I did good tonight.  I came home cook dinner which was mostly vegetables.  I even left some meat on the plate.  (Yeah)  I did ask my husband to clean the kitchen while I got on the treadmill.  So I walked about 45 minutes while watching a show that I have recorded.  I just hope I can keep it up everyday.  Tomorrow might be hard to walk because we have back to school night.  I guess I will walk around the Jr High campus going  up and down the stairs.  I just hope that my legs won’t feel like jello going up the stairs. 

I hope everyone will have a good day tomorrow.

I’m tried of being overweight okay obese.  It seems like I can lose about 15 lbs and then I give up.  I need to find out why I give up after losing 15 lbs.  My husband need to lose weight also.  What he does is let me do all the work - figuring out what to eat and when to exericse.  I do good for awhile.  I guess I get tried of losing weight for two people.  I have noticed that if he is lazy (sitting around the house) than I sit around too.  Why do I let his mood set me back?  Yes, I do get mad at him when he does not help cleaning the house.  Next thing you know I’m eating everything in the kitchen.  He never tell me I should do this or that in order to lose the pounds.  So, my hope is that if I write a blog every day will motative me to watch what I eat and exercise more.  (Let see if I can save this and be able to find it.)

Goal  for tomorrow, I plan on tracking what I put in by mouth and how much I exercise.